If I were pain. If I were in pain.

If I were pain, 
and in suffering, 
I will look to thee, 
I will seek your shine.

If I were in pain, 
and at suffering's end, 
I will seek your shrine;

I will call, 
but you must let me struggle. 
Push me, but push me forward.

Hold out your hand, 
be merciful, but don't pity. 
Say the word, say the Word, say it. 
Tell me what he says of me; 
You are my brother, 
Yes!, find me, find him, find us. 
Oracle?

Free us, free them, 
spread it, spread it, spread it! 
The Word.
Spread them, spread them, spread them.
The words.

___________________

I wrote this on 1 February 2008. I was in pain, a lot of heartache. I had lost someone / I was in the process of losing someone. And I was conflicted. I had lost a love, and I knew it.

I knew I was going downhill. And my life was suddenly a mess. And I had nothing to hold on to. I was in a foreign land, and everyone around me was a stranger. I had lost my compass. And I knew I was lost.

I lost myself. I lost her. And everything got cloudy for me. It was murky. I was drowning in my sorrow, and I was sorry for myself. I was spinning.

Im only now coming back from that place. 11 years later. I have regained myself.

And I have a lot of people to thank man, some people stood at a distance, and they distanced themselves. From me. But, some people got close, some of them stayed, and protected me, from myself. I got guided, and I got guidance. They helped me stay alive.

And I kept the memories of that. And its all coming back to me now, that time, that place, the person I was. When I was together.

Im full of gratitude man, I have a lot of people to thank.

Thank you for reading this. Freakles.

I remember.