I went to see a hypnotist some time back
Odd. I know. But I have nearly tried everything to stop smoking and I haven't been able to. I know all the health risks and still I am unable. So I thought, if willpower is failing me, then let me try something, or someway to control the mind, my mind, or the part of the brain that speaks addiction to me and forces me to stay in the addiction.
So, back to the hypnotist. I went out of curiosity, perhaps to open myself up to a new understanding, of self and awareness. I sat with him for the first 30 minutes. I prodded, he pushed back. I asked questions about the science of hypnotism, or perhaps the art and the artform. He defended, he gave me examples of the success of his work and he offered to help me understand and to experience his skill.
He asked me questions, of my life, my worries, my problems, my challenges and my obstacles. I opened up, to a stranger, like I have never done before. Not with anyone. The anomnity of our meeting made me even more open. I agreed myself to the fact that this conversation would last between us. So I revealed myself and my thoughts. It was therapeutic and lightening.
So then the hypnosis started.
I have only ever seen hypnosis on TV. I have to tell you that its nothing like the drama or the comedy of TV. I ventured into a deep sleep. All the while he is talking and commanding my brain to let my body rest. From the tips of my toenails, up my feet, through the chest and the solar plexus, I felt the movement of rest traversing up my body towards my head, back and fro until I reached what could possibly be unmoving sleep.
All the while I could hear everything, the sound of traffic outside, the quiet hum of the meditation device on the countertop next to the couch that I was sitting on. I could hear his voice. Though I dont know how long he kept on talking. My body was at rest. I had my hands clasped in front of me initially, but as the sleep progressed I lost feeling in them. I knew in my head that my hands were held together in front of me. I sensed them, but I could not feel them.
Arthur later said that I was under for 45 minutes.
I cannot describe the feeling. I can only describe the peace. How you are overwhelmed by your own consciousness, by your own mind searching for its quiet.
The body strains the mind. The mind controls everything, the mind, the brain searches and reacts to every stimuli from the body, for everything that happens in your body, the mind receives and responds. It is always working, it talks to itself and it tires.
In those 45 minutes, I learnt to connect with myself and with my mind. And to allow myself the control, to give my mind the peace.
I havent yet stopped smoking though. But I am sure the day will come. Soon. God willing.
