I agree. The battlefield is the mind. You may have conditioned yourself in the two decades that you were together into thinking for him, and in your mind you created a dependency on what he would say or do about what you thought.

So you formed a fear not to disappoint him, because of the memory of who he was at the start, and maybe he arrived in your life via a love revolution that swept you off your feet.

But you must find yourself and restore your mind and heart away from the chaos. You have a lot of life to live, still. And you have a whole lot of love to give.

And you are warm and you are nurturing and you are nature, you are a Queen, and you are a mother, and you are a friend to those that need a friend.

You are Jeremiah in Lamentations, and you are Songs and you are Ruth and you are the fulfillment of Ecclesiastes.

You have started finding yourself, and you are dusting the cupboards, getting rid of the skeletons in the closet and clearing out the trash. Spring cleaning in the winter.

And you have opened the windows to let the air and the breeze to come in and fill your heart.

Keep on. Dont stop. Remove the chaos and let your heart be rested, your mind will know when your heart has found its peace.

God is love. 💙