Everything is real.

Until we destroy it, or until we doubt it. Then its gone. And it becomes a memory.

And in everything there is a lesson that we take, and when we travel further away from the start, its faith and trust that carry us on, and forward. When we lose that, all hope is lost, and all that we knew, and what we know then exists as a hesitancy.

I am a slave to words, and they linger for a lot longer than for most people when they are said to me in emotion. And so I hold on to my loneliness and I prefer thoughts and ideas that abound in the silence, and in the knowing that there is no interruption to what my mind is resolving to solve.

And sometimes my mind is solving for my heart, which has been broken often, when people dont understand, what is Good, and why there is God.

And so I start back at one. I count again. I have to remove the guilt of a failure and I keep searching for that perfect cusp of happiness once again. I have not yet figured out how to forgive people that break their promises. People that doubt and create a negative echo. It becomes a clash of trust issues.

And such conflict is then eternal. From what I know.

And I dont want to fight. Its not a happy thing to do, you see. It messes with my sleep. So I avoid conflict and I cross the street before the traffic light is green at the pedestrian crossing.

And I go back to leaning on my family and friends, I lean on my mother, me and her have found a new connection.

But I confess, love is everything to me. I dont like living in fear, keeping secrets and I certainly dont thrive in isolation. Thats why you find me everywhere on the social medias.

These are my fears, my weaknesses and my trust issues. I own them and I will work through them.

Peace be with you fam.